[ choice. choices, god. it makes her think of asch, and she just frowns the whole way. ]
... Yeah. [ she closes her eyes. ] I grew up in a place called Kamordah. It's at the base of a mountain and the whole place is a shithole. It's rocks and geysers and scrublands. It's mostly brown and grey.
The soil is full of all these weird minerals? It smells like jasmine most of the time, but every once in a while you get a spray of a geyser and it's just sulfur smell for hours.
All the kids who grow up there always smell like jasmine, though. Like it's in their bones, in their skin.
[It doesn't make the gnawing of his fear go away. The fight is active, just like always. But to focus on her story, on something tangible, especially with her descriptions... it helps, just a little, to try to picture that and not what his mind is trying to force back up like a horrible illness.
They're nearly to the village proper now, the southern paths behind them. Just.... to the portal, then to the cabins. To the portal, to the cabins. It's not a horrible walk, but right now it feels like it's lasting a lifetime.
His voice is still clipped, but he's definitely listening, his pulse pounding madly.]
I'm guessing that's before your family found the land for the wine, right?
No, that's - that's the place we grew the grapes, actually.
[ she's trying to keep her voice even and calm for him. ] Nobody lived in the area because nothing else grows there. Except for these damn grapes. They only grow in that soil, and they make really fucking good wine. My dad got the land for cheap because a hag told him to grab it before anybody else could. And turns out he struck it rich because of that.
[ she watches the slight bit of steam come off their arms. ]
Sounds like it. But if the land was that bleak... why would anyone deliberately want to live there, much less raise a family? From what you said, i-it sounds like he wasn't expecting that to be such a success.
Fathers like that tend to not give a damn about much else.
[His fingers tighten against her, jaw setting -- but it's something he CAN'T think about, not right now.
The portal tree is within a short distance now, just barely in sight past the small clustering of buildings amidst the village. He's beelining, trying to watch his step as he goes--
For a brief moment, he stumbles. There's a choking sound from the back of his throat, gripping her tight, but he regains his footing and keeps moving, a cloud slowly pressing over his eyes.
You didn't even have to do that. It's fine. [ she says, taking a deep breath. she'd winced, at the stumble - tensed all over. she forces herself to relax, eye closed briefly. the second he gets to the portal she's going to do her very best to get out of his arms as quickly as she can. ]
[There's a nervous laugh that bubbles up at the retort.] H-hey, no. Knock it off with that.
If you're going to go feeling bad about this, then just... c-consider it an act of affection for Heart or something, alright?
[Letting her keep her pride was one thing. Letting it batter her to the ground was another. She really is a nice girl, even if she's rough around the edges. Seeing her suffer is...
...
As soon as they reach the portal, he slows, carefully lowering her enough to get her footing. There's a visible flinch one she pulls away of her own action, Guy having to take a couple steps back on reflex.]
... I can walk you back to the cabins, if you want.
[ it's the worst because her go-to with this sort of thing is to touch. she's a physical creature, reassuring with hands on shoulders or hugs, but she knows that'll just make this worse.
she gets her footing, and brings her arm in to clutch it to her chest. ]
[A laugh, bright and sunny, if not kind of sheepish.] Shouldn't I be the one asking you? I'm not the one walking around with freshly healing wounds or anything.
[Now that there's distance, he's slowly relaxing, that tension unwinding as the color starts to return to his face.]
...I'll be fine, Beau. You don't have to believe me if you don't want to. But the fact that I could help you at all without making things worse... that's what's more important to me.
Focusing on how I can help other people is just part of how I conquer what I'm afraid of. My feelings will settle.
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... Yeah. [ she closes her eyes. ] I grew up in a place called Kamordah. It's at the base of a mountain and the whole place is a shithole. It's rocks and geysers and scrublands. It's mostly brown and grey.
The soil is full of all these weird minerals? It smells like jasmine most of the time, but every once in a while you get a spray of a geyser and it's just sulfur smell for hours.
All the kids who grow up there always smell like jasmine, though. Like it's in their bones, in their skin.
no subject
They're nearly to the village proper now, the southern paths behind them. Just.... to the portal, then to the cabins. To the portal, to the cabins. It's not a horrible walk, but right now it feels like it's lasting a lifetime.
His voice is still clipped, but he's definitely listening, his pulse pounding madly.]
I'm guessing that's before your family found the land for the wine, right?
How did you end up in a place like that?
no subject
[ she's trying to keep her voice even and calm for him. ] Nobody lived in the area because nothing else grows there. Except for these damn grapes. They only grow in that soil, and they make really fucking good wine. My dad got the land for cheap because a hag told him to grab it before anybody else could. And turns out he struck it rich because of that.
[ she watches the slight bit of steam come off their arms. ]
He got lucky.
no subject
Sounds like it. But if the land was that bleak... why would anyone deliberately want to live there, much less raise a family? From what you said, i-it sounds like he wasn't expecting that to be such a success.
Did he not have much of a choice?
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He didn't really give a shit about the family part. Just the success part.
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Can't imagine how he must have treated you, then.
Fathers like that tend to not give a damn about much else.
[His fingers tighten against her, jaw setting -- but it's something he CAN'T think about, not right now.
The portal tree is within a short distance now, just barely in sight past the small clustering of buildings amidst the village. He's beelining, trying to watch his step as he goes--
For a brief moment, he stumbles. There's a choking sound from the back of his throat, gripping her tight, but he regains his footing and keeps moving, a cloud slowly pressing over his eyes.
It's fine i'm scared It's FINE i'm scared It's--
...]
Sorry.
Just to the portal. Is that alright...
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You didn't even have to do that. It's fine. [ she says, taking a deep breath. she'd winced, at the stumble - tensed all over. she forces herself to relax, eye closed briefly. the second he gets to the portal she's going to do her very best to get out of his arms as quickly as she can. ]
no subject
If you're going to go feeling bad about this, then just... c-consider it an act of affection for Heart or something, alright?
[Letting her keep her pride was one thing. Letting it batter her to the ground was another. She really is a nice girl, even if she's rough around the edges. Seeing her suffer is...
...
As soon as they reach the portal, he slows, carefully lowering her enough to get her footing. There's a visible flinch one she pulls away of her own action, Guy having to take a couple steps back on reflex.]
... I can walk you back to the cabins, if you want.
No more touching. Promise.
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she gets her footing, and brings her arm in to clutch it to her chest. ]
... You okay? [ before anything. ]
no subject
[Now that there's distance, he's slowly relaxing, that tension unwinding as the color starts to return to his face.]
...I'll be fine, Beau. You don't have to believe me if you don't want to. But the fact that I could help you at all without making things worse... that's what's more important to me.
Focusing on how I can help other people is just part of how I conquer what I'm afraid of. My feelings will settle.