Yeah. [he doesn't like to think about it. Even now, the fact that he needs to admit that Luke was dead - IS dead - it makes his stomach churn with an anger that hasn't died for those entire two years.]
Those of us at the temple were promised a wish if we were members of the winning party. Luke and I had the same wish, and that was to bring him back.
When people started getting killed... I just took precautions to make sure at least one of us would make it to the end. I didn't originally plan on taking anyone's life unless it was an emergency. But an opportunity was given to me... and I chose to take it, at the blood of two innocent people.
[ he gets it. he really, really gets it. this feeling of solidarity has only continued to increase. it's empathy, and a growing bitterness over how unfair this has all been. ]
In the end, were you successful? [ not about the murder--about the wish, the ending of the 'game'. ]
...I understand. [ because he does, really. to have to do it behind his back, because guy must have truly cared a great deal for this person. to ensure the safety of your lord and master is the ultimate duty of a servant; in his case, of someone more than that. bloody or otherwise, yin yu gets it.
(he'd stopped himself from a similar line of thinking the first day on the island. assuming it was a mission, only one initial thought had crossed his mind -- i have to survive this for chengzhu. he'd stopped himself before anything rash, but--perhaps that was why the curse caught onto him so easily.)
there's a brief pause. after a moment, he adds, quietly: ] Your master seems like a kind person.
[ for that to have been behind his back, anyway. he can imagine his own situation...well, maybe it wouldn't have been that much different, in a lot of ways. hua cheng is more than he seems, and yin yu knows that intimately.
it brings about a host of questions, specifically to the tune of their own game. after all, those who were saved...
...mm. ] ....what team are you on? [ might as well ask the man on the gallows. ]
[There's a laugh, just barely rolling from the back of his throat, soft and nostalgic.]
He is. He's still only a kid, in a lot of ways. I guess I can't help but feel responsible if he were to make a mistake that would have kept him from coming back home.
[...
There's a noticable hesitation, Guy glancing down at the tie around his wrist. If he really were to die tomorrow, then it wouldn't be much of a secret anyway. There was no point.
But...
...
His eyes drift up to the mask staring him down, tightening a bit in a subtle disappointment, then back down to his hands.]
[ well. ] ...please don't misunderstand: I don't want to play along with the games that we're trying to be coerced into playing. I have less skin in the game than many of the others, here.
[ there are many people from the island here. their game was small, and his most important bond from the island itself was here, too. yin yu's first priority here is stopping this farce so everyone gets to go home. it's what chengzhu would do, and he will do whatever it takes, in a similar fashion, to make sure that happens. yin yu is a loyal person, and that much about him has never, ever changed. ]
But if for some reason, you can't fight to keep that reality that you've gained - [ because of their mistakes ] then I want to keep that in mind in your stead.
[ yin yu's head dips, a more solemn gesture. ] A wish granted, with ample hard work and sacrifice, should not be taken away because of the whims of someone else. I know what it feels like, to have earned something, and have it ripped out of your hands, too.
He thinks back to Jude, to Zoe, to Estelle. To their wishes, crushed into the dust because he had decided to act desperately.
And as much as he wants to thank the man in front of him for his words, to share the moment of a missed opportunity...
He can't agree with that last part. Not without regret slowly bubbling up like a spring, sharp and pungent and painful. It shows on his face, on the way he still can't lift his eyes, knuckles going white against his knees.]
[ to win. to make it out of here. to earn back the endings they had rightfully earned.
to save the others. if his team loses and they end up playing along, yin yu is... he's prepared to give his own spot up, if only three of them can be saved, from the island. quietly so, but he's thought it since they first found out the 'rules'. ]
I don't think it's a troubling burden, to remember someone, and the things they cared for.
That's not quite it, I guess. [The smile he offers is... surprisingly sad, in a way that seems tired, far less sure of himself than he usually displays - a momentary break from just how hard the regret sits in his chest, gnawing at him. He knew his reasoning, knew why his choice was important. But to think of what he had to take, only to now lose it...
...
His gaze drops to his lap, one wrist wringing in the opposite hand as he tries to collect his thoughts.]
...
Yin Yu, could you tell me something?
Were you born into servitude? Or was it something you chose?
[ as ever, yin yu is observant. he picks up on that tone, the way he moves his hands. the look on his face.
now that the first stone on his shoulder has been loosened, it's easier to let free others. how simple it had been, how nice this could have been, to have a friend who might have understood. ]
...I was not born into it, no. It was something I agreed to do.
[He'll give a nod. The difference between a servant in slavery and one indebted was a large one. While Yin Yu was easy to fall prostrate towards others, it wasn't in the way of someone who was used to being treated that way.]
Can't say I'm surprised. There's a refinement to how you talk that's hard to find in people who haven't known much else.
Was it a position you carried on from your previous life?
[ ... haha. he doesn't quite laugh, but yin yu's mouth twitches. ah... he supposes it makes sense that guy would notice. ]
I... came from a well off family. [ that's not all of it, but it's not wrong, either. ] That was a very long time ago, though: I have worked for Hua Chengzhu for centuries, and only for Hua Chengzhu.
I am no prince. [ well. he was 'his highness yin yu', at one point, but that didn't have much to do with his birth. ] But, my family was the most prominent martial sect in the west, so a bit of both.
[ he cannot emphasize how long ago this was, but. you know. ] Why do you ask?
[ yin yu watches him quietly, taking in the information as carefully as possible. a part of him aches with it: that they are so similar. ]
...How did you come to be where you are, then? [ there's a little tension of anxiety in his stomach. it can't be a good story. he knows - because his wasn't good, either. ]
[It's the answer to both questions that hang in the air.
A beat. His tone stays even, but takes on a serious edge, dancing the line of vulnerability in keeping this as simple as possible.]
My father was a count for Malkuth, a sovereign to the Isle of Hod under Emperor Peony. On my fifth birthday, we'd gathered all of our family and friends at the manor to celebrate.
War broke out that same day, and our island was invaded by Kimlascan troops. They came to the manor.
in the end, it is a story that has been repeated in many places, over many centuries. the history of the world and the wars within it are cruel. ]
I'm sorry for your loss. [ he says, softly, though it doesn't feel large enough. it's not the point of this story, but it is best to say so, anyway. yin yu has lost much, and his family is long dead, but by that point, he was so numb to everything that it just passed him by. ] You survived.
By luck. I was shielded by another and left for dead. I heard the general ordering his troops to kill everyone mercilessly, and laughing all while he did it.
So I vowed to make that general endure the same suffering he had given to me. I found out where he lived, what position he held in our enemy country. And with the help of other survivors... I crossed the border and entered his home in servitude, under an assumed name.
yin yu knows black water sinking ships well enough. he's the closest thing to a "friend" that hua chengzhu has, and he knows the tale of his miserable, terrible life. he was the one who led "ming yi" to the dungeon of paradise manor, who allowed "ming yi" to escape back to the heavens to his "safety", where he had been plotting vengeance against the god who wronged him for hundreds of years.
he doesn't know much of the details, but he knows that for some reason, black water had left the windmaster alive in the process, despite the wrongs done to him by their sibling.
it must not be so different. there's no judgement on yin yu's face, just quiet understanding as he processes the details. ] Was it the young master who made things change?
Edited (i can't speak english apparently) 2020-07-10 11:27 (UTC)
[That seriousness breaks, just enough for his lips to quirk up with a fond warmth.]
Yeah.
...
Originally, I hated him just as much as I hated his father. He had everything I couldn't, groomed to be the tertiary heir to the Kimlascan throne. He was headstrong and rude. Always a brat. Horrible temper. I used to dream about taking my father's sword off their trophy walls and running him through.
[It was both a mockery and a motivation, to have that sword hanging right where he could see it.
...]
When Luke was about ten, he just vanished from the manor. Everyone said it was a kidnapping. He was gone for a while. But when he was finally found... well, he'd forgotten everything. Not just memories, either... He didn't even know how to walk or talk.
[ how odd... in his own world, yin yu would check that up to a memory eating demon, maybe, or him being swapped with a ghost child, or even a possession. he's long since learned that everyone's homes are far different than his, though, so.
aside from a brief flicker at the thought of his father's sword hanging on the wall - truly, how cruel - he doesn't react much, beyond a furrow of his brow in curiosity. ] ...Did you ever discover what happened?
Yeah. Eventually. Not until he was almost eighteen, though. Before then, we all just assumed it was trauma from whatever happened that wiped out everything. It's not completely unheard of. At the time, I didn't care one way or another. I assumed it would all come back someday, and that he'd turn right back into that kid I hated.
But that never happened.
[Another pause. This is getting into complicated territory, verging on a boundary that he doesn't want to cross. But at least he can provide basics.]
You've been around for a while, Yin Yu. Have you ever heard of replication where you're from?
yin yu brings a hand to his mouth, expression thoughtful. ] ...as in, making a copy of something? [ there are demons that can perfectly replicate the appearance of others. ghosts that can, too. his master is an expert shapeshifter, and there are certainly demons or ghosts that will take the place of children and live that way, too.
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if hua cheng was here, yin yu would do anything for him.
(if yizhen was here, he'd...) ]
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Those of us at the temple were promised a wish if we were members of the winning party. Luke and I had the same wish, and that was to bring him back.
When people started getting killed... I just took precautions to make sure at least one of us would make it to the end. I didn't originally plan on taking anyone's life unless it was an emergency. But an opportunity was given to me... and I chose to take it, at the blood of two innocent people.
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In the end, were you successful? [ not about the murder--about the wish, the ending of the 'game'. ]
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He nods.]
Not to anyone's approval. Not even that of Luke. I did it all behind his back, after all.
But I got my wish.
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(he'd stopped himself from a similar line of thinking the first day on the island. assuming it was a mission, only one initial thought had crossed his mind -- i have to survive this for chengzhu. he'd stopped himself before anything rash, but--perhaps that was why the curse caught onto him so easily.)
there's a brief pause. after a moment, he adds, quietly: ] Your master seems like a kind person.
[ for that to have been behind his back, anyway. he can imagine his own situation...well, maybe it wouldn't have been that much different, in a lot of ways. hua cheng is more than he seems, and yin yu knows that intimately.
it brings about a host of questions, specifically to the tune of their own game. after all, those who were saved...
...mm. ] ....what team are you on? [ might as well ask the man on the gallows. ]
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He is. He's still only a kid, in a lot of ways. I guess I can't help but feel responsible if he were to make a mistake that would have kept him from coming back home.
[...
There's a noticable hesitation, Guy glancing down at the tie around his wrist. If he really were to die tomorrow, then it wouldn't be much of a secret anyway. There was no point.
But...
...
His eyes drift up to the mask staring him down, tightening a bit in a subtle disappointment, then back down to his hands.]
...I'm with Winter.
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[ well. ] ...please don't misunderstand: I don't want to play along with the games that we're trying to be coerced into playing. I have less skin in the game than many of the others, here.
[ there are many people from the island here. their game was small, and his most important bond from the island itself was here, too. yin yu's first priority here is stopping this farce so everyone gets to go home. it's what chengzhu would do, and he will do whatever it takes, in a similar fashion, to make sure that happens. yin yu is a loyal person, and that much about him has never, ever changed. ]
But if for some reason, you can't fight to keep that reality that you've gained - [ because of their mistakes ] then I want to keep that in mind in your stead.
[ yin yu's head dips, a more solemn gesture. ] A wish granted, with ample hard work and sacrifice, should not be taken away because of the whims of someone else. I know what it feels like, to have earned something, and have it ripped out of your hands, too.
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He thinks back to Jude, to Zoe, to Estelle. To their wishes, crushed into the dust because he had decided to act desperately.
And as much as he wants to thank the man in front of him for his words, to share the moment of a missed opportunity...
He can't agree with that last part. Not without regret slowly bubbling up like a spring, sharp and pungent and painful. It shows on his face, on the way he still can't lift his eyes, knuckles going white against his knees.]
...
You don't have to do that. [Quiet, almost numbed]
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[ to win. to make it out of here. to earn back the endings they had rightfully earned.
to save the others. if his team loses and they end up playing along, yin yu is... he's prepared to give his own spot up, if only three of them can be saved, from the island. quietly so, but he's thought it since they first found out the 'rules'. ]
I don't think it's a troubling burden, to remember someone, and the things they cared for.
[ no one remembered him. ]
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That's not quite it, I guess. [The smile he offers is... surprisingly sad, in a way that seems tired, far less sure of himself than he usually displays - a momentary break from just how hard the regret sits in his chest, gnawing at him. He knew his reasoning, knew why his choice was important. But to think of what he had to take, only to now lose it...
...
His gaze drops to his lap, one wrist wringing in the opposite hand as he tries to collect his thoughts.]
...
Yin Yu, could you tell me something?
Were you born into servitude? Or was it something you chose?
no subject
now that the first stone on his shoulder has been loosened, it's easier to let free others. how simple it had been, how nice this could have been, to have a friend who might have understood. ]
...I was not born into it, no. It was something I agreed to do.
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Can't say I'm surprised. There's a refinement to how you talk that's hard to find in people who haven't known much else.
Was it a position you carried on from your previous life?
[Had Chengzhu been his only master?]
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I... came from a well off family. [ that's not all of it, but it's not wrong, either. ] That was a very long time ago, though: I have worked for Hua Chengzhu for centuries, and only for Hua Chengzhu.
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Damn. We really are more alike than we should be, aren't we...
[How unfair was this, of all times...]
Just a fortunate life? Or something closer to nobility?
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[ he cannot emphasize how long ago this was, but. you know. ] Why do you ask?
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Like I said. Similarities.
[He'll lean forward to rest his chin against his hands, debating visibly on continuing...
But it's fine. He's beyond the point of this information being ammunition. And maybe, just maybe, trusting Yin Yu with it wouldn't be entirely wrong.]
Call it an intuition of someone who was born into that class as well.
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...How did you come to be where you are, then? [ there's a little tension of anxiety in his stomach. it can't be a good story. he knows - because his wasn't good, either. ]
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[It's the answer to both questions that hang in the air.
A beat. His tone stays even, but takes on a serious edge, dancing the line of vulnerability in keeping this as simple as possible.]
My father was a count for Malkuth, a sovereign to the Isle of Hod under Emperor Peony. On my fifth birthday, we'd gathered all of our family and friends at the manor to celebrate.
War broke out that same day, and our island was invaded by Kimlascan troops. They came to the manor.
[An exhale, his fingers tightening reflexively.]
And they slaughtered everyone they found.
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in the end, it is a story that has been repeated in many places, over many centuries. the history of the world and the wars within it are cruel. ]
I'm sorry for your loss. [ he says, softly, though it doesn't feel large enough. it's not the point of this story, but it is best to say so, anyway. yin yu has lost much, and his family is long dead, but by that point, he was so numb to everything that it just passed him by. ] You survived.
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By luck. I was shielded by another and left for dead. I heard the general ordering his troops to kill everyone mercilessly, and laughing all while he did it.
So I vowed to make that general endure the same suffering he had given to me. I found out where he lived, what position he held in our enemy country. And with the help of other survivors... I crossed the border and entered his home in servitude, under an assumed name.
[All as a child. All for revenge.]
no subject
yin yu knows black water sinking ships well enough. he's the closest thing to a "friend" that hua chengzhu has, and he knows the tale of his miserable, terrible life. he was the one who led "ming yi" to the dungeon of paradise manor, who allowed "ming yi" to escape back to the heavens to his "safety", where he had been plotting vengeance against the god who wronged him for hundreds of years.
he doesn't know much of the details, but he knows that for some reason, black water had left the windmaster alive in the process, despite the wrongs done to him by their sibling.
it must not be so different. there's no judgement on yin yu's face, just quiet understanding as he processes the details. ] Was it the young master who made things change?
no subject
Yeah.
...
Originally, I hated him just as much as I hated his father. He had everything I couldn't, groomed to be the tertiary heir to the Kimlascan throne. He was headstrong and rude. Always a brat. Horrible temper. I used to dream about taking my father's sword off their trophy walls and running him through.
[It was both a mockery and a motivation, to have that sword hanging right where he could see it.
...]
When Luke was about ten, he just vanished from the manor. Everyone said it was a kidnapping. He was gone for a while. But when he was finally found... well, he'd forgotten everything. Not just memories, either... He didn't even know how to walk or talk.
no subject
aside from a brief flicker at the thought of his father's sword hanging on the wall - truly, how cruel - he doesn't react much, beyond a furrow of his brow in curiosity. ] ...Did you ever discover what happened?
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But that never happened.
[Another pause. This is getting into complicated territory, verging on a boundary that he doesn't want to cross. But at least he can provide basics.]
You've been around for a while, Yin Yu. Have you ever heard of replication where you're from?
no subject
yin yu brings a hand to his mouth, expression thoughtful. ] ...as in, making a copy of something? [ there are demons that can perfectly replicate the appearance of others. ghosts that can, too. his master is an expert shapeshifter, and there are certainly demons or ghosts that will take the place of children and live that way, too.
but...? otherwise, that's all he knows.
(no subject)