PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS - BEAU

[menially]

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[disreguarded]

[ she shakes her head. ]

No, no. I'm - I'm okay enough. [ for now. in fact, she's going to slowly pull herself to her feet. ] I've had worse, and it's not worth freaking you out over.

[ she's blunt and rude sometimes, but the thought of actively making someone deeply uncomfortable or afraid makes her want to die, a little. ]

Let's go.

[menially]

Beau, that's not--

[Aaaand she's up on her feet again. He cuts himself off with a sigh, hovering at an arm's length as usual.]

Hey, come on, pity's the last thing I want to hear right now. This is about you being safe, not what makes me uncomfortable or you needing to prove something.

[disreguarded]

[ she makes a face at him. ]

Pity's the last thing I want to hear right now. I can make it back to the camp. [ probably. ]

[menially]

That's not--

[Oof. Okay, whatever. He'll just put his hands up in resignation, taking a step back. Fine, fine...]

I didn't mean it like that. Sorry. I'm just concerned about you. Can you blame me for wanting to make sure you stay in one piece?

[disreguarded]

I know you didn't. [ she wraps her arms around herself. ]

It's okay, I just... don't get why you'd be willing to make yourself uncomfortable in order to help me out.

[menially]

Because it's the right thing to do.

[There's a laugh, though it's tired.]

I'm a servant, Beau. This is just kind of what I do in my nature. Besides, I told you before, didn't I? You're a decent person. I wouldn't just leave you behind if I could help it.

[disreguarded]

[ bleh don't compliment her she doesn't know what to do with it!! she shifts, and then just - starts to walk. slowly. ]

A servant, huh. I thought you were a noble.

[menially]

[... That... honestly surprises him. Where in the world...

...]

Interesting guess. What makes you say that?

[disreguarded]

[ she tilts her head slightly. ]

Asch said something to you about a House Gardios needing an heir during trial. [ sniff. ] But you don't really act like one, I guess.

[menially]

[Damn it, Asch.]

You're sharp.

Both are right. I've been a servant most of my life, and my current situation leaves me doing pretty much the same thing most of the time.

But Asch is right. I'm under vassalge to His Majesty Emperor Peony the Ninth, as the current heir of the house of Count Gardios.

[disreguarded]

I listen, that's all. [ she uses what she has. ]

You under vassalage willingly or unwillingly?

[menially]

[A pause.]

Willingly.

You ask that like you're familiar with how it works. Not you first run-in with the noble crowd? [Is that fancy name not just for show after all?]

[disreguarded]

[ she makes a face. ]

No. It's not. [ ... she considers leaving it there, and then just sighs. ] I'm from a rich family. We're not nobles, necessarily, but we rub shoulders with them constantly.

We make wine. Lionett wine. It's the best in Wildemount.

[menially]

[Huh.]

Didn't take you as one for that kind of lifestyle, either. [There's a joking tone to it, light and slightly empathetic.]

Did your family exclusively sell to the upper class, or was that just something that came on from success?

[disreguarded]

[ she snorts, glancing at him. ]

Success, mostly. We own the land that grows the specific type of grapes you need to make our wine. They don't grow anywhere else. My dad made some deal to get it a long time ago.

[ she doesn't know the specifics of that deal from her current canon point but wow is it a doozy. ]

I hated it and I haven't been in the middle of it for a few years now, so. Maybe that's why I don't feel like a rich kid.

[menially]

Nothing wrong with that. If you have to make your own path in life, then that's what matters more than a family name sometimes, right?

[says the one who doesn't have Gardios anywhere on his bus pass, but eh.]

[disreguarded]

[ her lips twitch. ]

Definitely. I'm a Nie, now. I can leave that other shit behind. Not like they wanted me to keep it anyway. [ she presses her hand to her stomach again as she walks. ]

[menially]

Not the good kind of family drama, then. [Is that what Ogata had meant, then...?

He sees her slowly starting to buckle again, but he'll just keep an eye on her.]

You seem happier this way. Sometimes I think shedding that title is a way to really see what a person can become. Doesn't mean you have to forget it, but you don't need it to define you.

[disreguarded]

[ ogata got so much lore that he used.

she glances at him, vaguely amused. ]

I am happier this way. Yeah. I made my own name. My own family. I haven't needed the Lionetts in years.

[menially]

Good. Can't say I have any complaints about who you've turned out to be.

[...]

Ooooother than maybe working on that confidence with the ladies a little more. You sounded like you were enjoying yourself tonight.

[disreguarded]

[ she wrinkles her nose a bit at that first part but doesn't say anything. ]

I was enjoying myself. I'm not that fucking terrible with girls. [ she just doesn't have self esteem, oops ] There's just a difference between sleeping with them and dating them.

[menially]

[That face gets him to laugh, but he won't touch on it. Yeah, he can see why she gets along with Asch...]

Anything wrong with just being yourself around someone else that you like?

I mean... it sounds like you already have had a fight to get to where you are. Shouldn't you be proud of it?

[disreguarded]

[ she's slowing down a little, here. ]

I am myself, constantly, without apologizing for it, and that's the fucking problem, most of the time.

[menially]

So? You think that's gonna scare people off? Wouldn't you rather have people around you that don't mind you for how you are?

[...YYyyep, noticing that drop in speed, though, especially when he starts to outpace her. He'll halt where he is, brow furrowing.]

...Easy, easy. [this was a BAD IDEA.]

[disreguarded]

It's not that. [ she mutters, but she's distracted. she's breathing kind of harshly, or at least - a little more than usual. she's got a permanent grimace now. her shoulder is throbbing, her head hurts.

deep, steadying breath. ]